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A couple of old patterns showed up for me this week. I was wishful thinking that I’d already handled them. For a minute, I was fully in it — you know when you genuinely cannot see a way out of it.

Then, I remembered what these next two weeks actually are.

On my drive home from the grocery store the other day, something unexpected happened.

Out of nowhere, I felt this wave of shame come over me. There wasn’t any obvious reason for it. My shopping trip had suddenly become something entirely different.

And instead of driving straight home, my hands just… turned right onto Highway 26, up the mountain, to my favorite scenic turnoff. I sat at the highest point and watched storms moving through Asheville below, knowing that there was a bit of a metaphor playing out

Here’s a confession: I almost missed a powerful moment because I was annoyed about my seat on the plane.

I was flying to Oregon to speak at a conference, and there were two empty seats right next to me… except, I’d been put next to a very large man instead, and at 5 ’10”, I was hoping for a little room. I was about to get up to move into that empty row beside us. Before I could, the flight attendant gave it to someone else.

Highly suboptimal. Or so I judged it at the moment.

Is it time to batten down the hatches or to open to life more than ever?

Having just spent some time with a dear friend, who was on a powerful journey into the unfamiliar. I watched her be curious, be brave, and this inspired me to really look at my life.

These times are very interesting. The most extraordinary ways of becoming are being birthed because of the contrast. We are headed towards a brand new world. And in the meantime, reality seems to be screaming for attention.

There are certain people who don’t just pass through your life. They change the whole trajectory of it.

My dear friend Leslie, who’s passing was so sudden 2 weeks ago, was one of those people for me. Before meeting her, I had been very left brained. Then, I got really sick, and she handed me the book that opened the door to a completely different way of understanding healing. That doorway eventually led to me having the largest integrated health clinic in Canada, and even to the health school we started together.

I honestly don’t know who I would be, or what I would be writing to you about right now, if Leslie had not loved me into a bigger world.

Over the weekend, while I was in San Juan, Puerto Rico, I lost my phone.

I was leaving for the airport at 4:15 in the morning, beyond tired after barely sleeping for three days, and somewhere along the way my phone slipped out of my bag at the airport. I didn’t realize it until I was already on the plane. I knew it wasn’t lost forever, but in that moment, I also knew I had a choice. I could let myself get pulled into stress and frustration, or I could stay with myself.

This message is a long one today, but worth it. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

You know how when you’re about to type something on Facebook and it asks you, “WHAT”S ON YOUR MIND?”. Well, this is on my mind and heart… maybe it will speak to you in these times of great change.

Everything that hasn’t been congruent is coming to the surface in this world. For me personally, as well. In fact, life and death are at the forefront currently. One of my dear friends just passed recently (love you, Leslie), and there is more… but we’ll start with that.

I am spending some time with a dear friend, who is on a powerful journey into the unfamiliar. I am watching her be curious, be brave, and this has inspired me to really look at my life.

These times are very interesting. The most extraordinary ways of becoming are being birthed because of the contrast. We are headed towards a brand new world. And in the meantime, reality seems to be screaming for attention.

But actually reality is simply either Inspiring creativity or catalyzing you to be all of yourself, all of your superpowers, and bring your dreams to life.

I was just on a cruise with a whole lot of brilliant, fascinating, very shiny people… and, honestly, I found everyone was trying a little bit to get everyone else’s attention.

Not in a bad way.

Just in that very human way we do when we want to be seen, felt, chosen, noticed. There were big personalities, big energy and big presence everywhere.

The world is about to get very serious about heart-shaped objects. Chocolate hearts. Paper hearts. Balloons shaped like internal organs. The whole thing is adorable. And also… it’s a perfect moment to talk about what I actually mean when I say the word love, because I don’t think love is a reward. I don’t think love is a transaction. And I definitely don’t think love is something another human being “gives” you if you behave correctly and keep your emotional glitter under control.

The end of a year, birth of unconditional love and the darkest day (or lightest depending on your hemisphere) of the year, are all significant factors on their own… all about going into the mystery, and something new and special being born.  And all of these happen in December.