“We have the opportunity to make up our minds about whether we want to be right, or whether we want to build a bridge back to harmony. You and I have the resources for doing either, but only one option can occupy your energy at a time. Which do you choose?”
~ Jennifer Hough
The other week, I remember that someone’s opinion about a friend really got to me, and as they were righteous about this friend, I noticed myself wanting to be defensive and righteous right back to them. Have you ever felt that?
We all know someone who holds strong opinions, and maybe you could be that person. The question becomes, is it worth being right in your opinion when it comes to someone you care about?
Today, I share a story about just that very thing… a relationship in discord due to strong opinions, and the steps taken to build a bridge.
Oh, and by the way, I chose to say the words that love chose for me, in the conversation about my friend… and the other seemingly “opinionated” person softened.
So simple. Sometimes building bridges means having the courage to step out of Ego.
With an open heart,>
BETTER COMMUNICATION TO ROCK YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
There was someone, and still is someone, who is very important in my life, I wanted to share a story about she and I:
She was my step-daughter when I was married, and there was a lot going on all the time between her and her mom, and her and her dad. I remember having a profound conversation where she had some pretty big opinions about me, that I was taking her dad’s love away, where I was someone who “stirred the pot” a little bit, someone who would never like her, she even had an opinion that she wasn’t lovable. Now, before I go any further, I want you to think of people in your life, and maybe it’s you… so maybe when I tell this story you’ll be thinking about you; that you have really strong opinions, and that could cause issues with some of the people you love.
But, if you’re thinking of someone else that you’re around, that can have opinions that are different than you; it could be your Sweetie, it could be your children; just listen to this story: So, she was having pretty strong opinions about me, and my question to her was, “Can you tell me about them?” She said, “I don’t want to tell you, they’re not nice!” And I said, “Yeah, that’s okay, I can handle it… I know that probably most of it is just so you can protect yourself, or because you’re afraid, or whatever…” She goes, “NO, that’s not it”, I said, “Okay, just tell me…”
She said, “First of all,…” and she would tell me that I gave more attention to her dad, or she gets less attention from her dad. I said, “Okay, I get it, I get how you could feel that way, I totally understand how you could feel that way…”, I said, “Maybe that’s true sometimes, maybe I feel uncomfortable sometimes, I don’t know…” And you could see her shoulders coming down, and she was softening a little bit… because what I did, I made her ego right. I also said to her that I could understand how she could feel that way, I didn’t try to come back with another opinion, inside I might have had an opinion, if fact, there were times that I did the opposite… where I actually overcompensated by giving her lots of attention. But, we have to decide when someone has strong opinions, whether we want to build a bridge, or whether we want to be right. Let me say that again: We have to make up our mind about whether we want to be right, or whether we want to build a bridge.
So, she spoke a little bit more, and said a couple of other things that were slightly uncomplimentary… and I just shared that I got it, I so get it, I really do! And I said, “Would you be open, can I share a little bit about what’s going on with me as you share that?” She said, “What?” I said, “It make me sad!” She goes, “It makes you sad? It doesn’t make you angry?” and I said, “No, it makes me sad, because I was really excited to have two people I could love, instead of one!” And she looked at me, suffice to say, for making her ego right, and deciding that I wanted to build bridges, and really choosing to let love win, she eventually ran up to me and gave me a big hug, and she said, “I’m so sorry, I can be such a you-know-what” And I said, “That’s okay, I love you anyways!”
I share this with you so you can look at the places where maybe you hold really strong opinions, or maybe someone else holds really strong opinions. Apologies are powerful, if you’re the one holding an opinion… sometimes the other person isn’t receptive, you have to wait until they are, you have to wait until it presents… but when it does present, let love win! Make their ego right. Allow yourself to understand why they could feel that way, and say that out loud. And see if you can find a place where you both agree so a bigger conversation can happen. Take some practice, you might suck at it at first, but you just gotta decide whether you want to expand love or be right.
This is actually something, a little piece of what we might talk about on March 29th, we’ll be doing an Intro Webinar to Get Out of Your Own Way™ to Relationships that Rock, so I would love for you to tell your friends, tell everyone, to me this is how the world changes. This is truly how the world can make a shift. We have the capacity, we have the tools, we have the skills to be able to find harmony, even if it’s through the back door. With our kids, with our Sweetie, with all the circumstances around us, in our work… and so, on the 29th at 8PM, we’re going to talk about how to have Relationships that Rock, really how to transcend struggle. Some skills that everyone can use, and if you find repetitive patterns going on, if you find yourself being triggered sometimes, if you find yourself feeling powerless because you don’t have the skills to be able to move energy… and sometimes you just stay quiet… then, it’s time! Come! You register at TheWideAwakening.com/GetOutIntro, and you do NEED to REGISTER… and PLEASE pass this video on to your friends, to your family, anyone you know that can benefit from what I just shared, and certainly can benefit from being on the F*R*E*E* Intro Webinar; it’ll be 90 minutes, it starts at 8PM, LOVE YOU!! Bye!