I was so angry and felt so alone…


“When we are in pain, it’s only because there are
some mistruths that we are telling ourselves,
and that our bodies will come back into alignment
as we realize how supported, loved, and adored we are.

Jennifer Hough


Today I want to share with you a personal account of how epi-genetics works. It’s a recent “OUCH and YAY” full-circle moment I had.

Upon awakening one morning, my body did not feel that hot. It felt like I had a dream that put me into PTSD. My spine felt compressed and my body was afraid. So, instead of engaging the fear, I got curious.

I used an anti-inflammatory light therapy that I love to use to get myself to a place where I could at least be present. I did that by continually answering the question, “How can I feel a little bit better now?”

Doing my best to be a champion of my mood and frequency, I then put some CBD on the spots that ached.

While I was doing that, I realized my hubby, Adam, was going out to the sauna, so I decided to join him. He put on a meditation that I normally don’t do because I have had difficulty listening to the facilitator in the past.

However, this time the facilitator was perfect for me, taking me down exactly the right wormholes. I realized that there were some mistruths I had been telling myself, based on something that happened when I was in my 20s, while on a date with my boyfriend at the time, that was super scary for me.

This is what happened: I took him out on my sailboat that I lived on at the time. I didn’t think I was enough to deserve him, and he wanted to learn to sail, so we made a date out of it. Meanwhile, I could feel the energy wasn’t quite congruent.

We hit a squall and the boat heeled over to almost 90°. So here I was in a 36-foot, full-keeled boat, afraid that we would both die. I asked God for the strength to furl the foresail, because I couldn’t do it without a little help from the Universe.

I got the energy to furl the sail alright, yet I was still so afraid. I tore my rhomboid muscle pretty badly. I actually heard the muscles tear. But I got the sail in and the boat righted itself enough that I could bring the main sail down to half-mast.

All the while my boyfriend was curled up in a ball going green. I was so angry. Maybe he didn’t realize that we could die? I was mad that he couldn’t suck it up enough to help me. I truly felt so alone.

I now realize, from that experience, that I still hadn’t fully let go of allowing myself to be contributed to, especially by Adam. There was still a part of me that thought I could “die” if I didn’t do it myself. There was also a part of me that believed that nobody really wanted to partner with me, as they were just using me because I’m pretty adventurous, fun, and seemingly have my shit together.

Hmmmmm, who knew that was still in there!

My greater wisdom did, and it showed up in my body that morning. Now I’m feeling lots more freedom in my body after this awareness.

Are you willing to be curious on your life’s adventure?

It certainly takes courage, because then you’re going to be shown the truth and you’ll have to relinquish your grip on all of the safety mechanisms. Which means you might have to let some love and support in.

Pretty amazing way to start my day!

Isn’t it cool that the way I got through this was with Adam while he was on his journey and process, which all contributed to my healing?

I love how it all works out effortlessly with a little willingness to be curious and courageous.

As a cool aside: A cricket (I called him Jiminy Cricket!) , the wise truth teller shows up on my computer, reminding me that there are always deeper truths.

I love you, Advil, but it was time for a little epi-genetic journey.

Instead of your nose growing, the pain will grow… resistance is futile. You coming?

Glad to take you along for the ride!

With love,
Jennifer
xoxoxo

P.S. As always, I am truly grateful for the ongoing conversations we continue to have in Agents of Awakening (AOA)! Have you joined the community yet? What are you waiting for? Join me HERE!


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