Why Do We Struggle, and How to Stop Feeling Like a Victim of Life - The Wide Awakening with Jennifer Hough

Credit: 2016 Jeannie Selda


Receptivity is our natural state. It’s simply not our most well-practiced habit. The solution is to learn how to receive, then spend the rest of your life practicing. Every minute you do that is another minute spent enjoying your life.” – Jennifer Hough

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I was chatting with a dear friend who asked the question, “When will the ‘bad times’ end? I have had many great times, but it seems there are still ‘bad’ things that happen in my family. That should be over when I finally Awaken, right?”

It is so easy, when there are challenges around us, to focus on the aspects of life that are not working (or so we perceive). I am not saying this from a place of being an all-knowing guru, but from someone going through menopause and noticing how easy it is to collect evidence of what is “not” working when your hormones are all over the place.

When I first heard her question, I realized that she had asked the question many times before. It is not a great question to focus on because of how the particles of physics, of which we are comprised, respond to the energy of the question. Often when I get these kinds of questions, the email or post includes examples of what sucks, what isn’t working, and why things shouldn’t be happening anymore (according to their minds). The posts/emails also often include the question  “What am I doing wrong?”, as though perceptive challenges should not be happening. My answers to these questions might surprise you, and until you embody these answers, it’s always going to seem like there is something missing for you.

My response below includes an explanation of what to expect as you become more aware of who you are, and how to change your state of being, such that the vibrational atmosphere around you would have you ask much more productive questions.

The only way, and I mean the only way, it can turn around is if you become a relentless champion of your own attention/vibration/focus, which means even being aware of the questions you ask. I know it’s hard not to focus on what is in front of you with hope and positive anticipation, when it appears a little dramatic. Take my sweetie, Adam, for instance… every day, all day long, he is in pain. It’s real; he has rods and screws in his back and it hurts when he sneezes, when he walks, when he lies down, and so on. There is also money stuff that comes up (for me, too, from time to time), which is real… and again, the mind wants to grab those issues and control them, so we can feel safe.

Taking full self-responsibility for your vibrational output is challenging for those who are sensitive. We are so used to feeling like victims of life. Adam, for instance, is a relentless champion of his ability to focus. Is he perfect at it? Nope. He can tap into his old feelings of hopelessness, like everyone else. The difference is that he chooses not to stay in that space for long. After all, who wants to attract more things to feel hopeless about? That’s what happens when we get righteous about what seems to be wrong, instead of focusing on what is working.  Oh sure, when perceptively great things happen, it’s easier to say “hallelujah!,” I have reached the mountaintop. But you haven’t, because anything you think that is good only happened in response to a vibration you were emanating deliberately (or unconsciously), in the direction of something you desired.

Remember: you have air to breathe, people who love you, sunsets, a heart that beats, a bed to sleep on, and so much more. I know it sounds very “Pollyanna,” but it’s true, and if you want more of those kinds of things, you have to become deliberate about whether you are going to let random, well-practiced thoughts guide your life, or whether you are going to become the creator of your masterpiece.

Adam’s had a lifetime of mental practice in that “victim” state of being. I love him, but if I’m not careful, I can carry him, and then he becomes a victim to me, which does not help him or me at all. I am so grateful that consciousness always creates the circumstances that allow us to get back in flow more easily, and the only reason we get out of flow is because we stop doing our practices, and stop being responsible for ourselves.

So, what is the answer? There are several things that Adam and I do every day to keep ourselves in the flow with consciousness, and here are some of them:

1. Listen to something uplifting every morning.

2. Every morning, I future project my day. I can choose not to, but why would I?

3. Make sure I take breaks to be in the harmony of nature every 1.5 hours as a deliberate activation

Here’s why it can seem challenging these days to stay in flow:

1. Consciousness is speeding up, so we are constantly upgrading; therefore, you may notice when you are not being responsible for your vibration. The “downs” are more obvious. and the flow is also more ridiculously juicy.

2. There is no “getting there” in Awakening. You just don’t become “Awake.” If you are striving for some picture of Awakening you are attached to, that will get you in deep doo-doo. There is Awakening your spirit every day to who you are, especially given the political, social and economic thoughtforms that surround us. It’s so easy to fall into old defaults.

3. When we don’t like that we have to do the work, it’s our Ego throwing a temper tantrum; we want it to be easier, but it is what it is. The journey is different for each of us. When we are in that space, however, our Ego has us conveniently forget how fun our flow is, and how easy it is to stay in flow once we are there, which leads me to the next comment.

4. I have to be extremely diligent about not taking my flow for granted. It’s not a state that you achieve permanently. You do achieve new levels of flow, through your journey of Awakening, but consciousness is moving so fast and constantly expanding. It’s about learning the new Super Powers, and integrating with them as what’s possible expands. You wouldn’t want it any other way. You came here to experience contrast to see how much more you could create and find joy; the contrast will never end. So, your relationship to that contrast is so important. Flow is something renewed and tapped into every single day… hence finding it through your morning practice every single day.

5. Finally, my relationship to contrast is one of excitement, because I know that it is causing me to be curious about what else can come my way. What else can I receive? How can I open my heart more? What will present further, because of this new clarity? Changing my relationship to contrast and struggle has been the single biggest change that has opened me up in the past year.

6. Finally, expectations can cause a lot of frustration.  Check in with your heart and see if you have some pretty picture of what Awakening looks like, and whether you get frustrated because your life is not fitting that pretty picture.

It goes back to that saying, “It’s the journey, not the destination.” It is important to become relentlessly vigilant for the light, as that is how more light comes forth on your journey.  It’s that simple. Though it can seem challenging when faced with difficult things, the answer is always the same.

It doesn’t mean stop feeling, but it does mean finding your way back to your heart as a practice.

With love,

Jennifer Hough

Author, speaker, and Awakening Coach Jennifer Hough offers some practical steps to help you step into all the possibilities that are available in 2018!