“If you change yourself in order to make others more comfortable, they will still judge you. Neither of you will be happy. If you be yourself, at least one of you will be happy!”
~ Jennifer Hough
Dear You:
The other day I was speaking at a conference, and I had a brief thought of changing my speech because I overheard a couple of people saying, “I just wasn’t their cup of tea,” without ever having heard me yet. I didn’t change a thing, and both of them thanked me for what I shared. It changed the way they thought forever… and if I had bent to social convention, that would not have happened.
People are going to judge; that’s just what happens, because it’s the most popular form of protection from intimacy… so, why not be yourself, anyhow? You were not created to fit into other people’s perceptions of who you are; you were created to be yourself. The Universe put you here to co-create your reality, to run and dance and play, and to let your heart be seen! You, then, give that same permission to others to do the same…
Want to know more about how to let this happen? Watch here…
With an open heart,
xoxoxo
Jennifer
Transcript
Just Be Yourself
Hi there! It’s Jennifer. Oh my gosh, I had such a cool experience this weekend. It was all about… let’s see… it was all about the end of carrying how other people think, or worrying about that other people are judging and assessing you. And morphing yourself to really not have that judgment happen, or conform somehow to what other people are asking you to be. Now, that could be in your business, you could do that… now, there’s nothing wrong with deliberately being who you need to be for the circumstances, such that it would be more powerful; absolutely not. But, we’re talking here about actually morphing yourself in circumstances where it’s your family; or being around people because you want to not be not liked; or you want to make sure you are liked; or you want to make sure that you don’t rock too many boats; or you want to make sure that you don’t shake anyone’s tree; or you want to make sure that you don’t stand out, that you belong. All of these reasons could be with a Sweetie Pie you’re doing it; not making yourself vulnerable. It could be in a business situation, where you’re holding yourself back from saying some kind of truth…it could be anything like that.
Now, this isn’t about not being heard and then making sure that you’re heard; it’s still about wisdom. However, I was in this yoga class the other day… and I got there because I missed my own yoga class; coincidence? I think not! So, I’m in this yoga class, and this girl walks in and her energy just like, fills the room, she just… you could just feel her… and she starts talking and my eye starts to twitch. Now, I usually don’t feel… when I’m in yoga, usually I’m doing it just to get me in my body and feel and, you know, just really be with me. But, in this case, it was very clear early on that this is… you know, there was that beautiful connection. Usually, with our students, there’s a real, you know, there’s a feeling of – oh, yeah… yeah… I know this person already. They’re asking for what we’re up to… there’s this beautiful connection. So, this woman who I don’t know, because I was trying to go to the yoga class before, is doing the whole yoga class, and the whole time my eye is twitching, and I’m being thrown off balance. I’m trying to do Tree Pose (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it). I’m trying to do like Dancer’s Pose; I just keep falling over all the time, and that’s not like me… so, I thought, “that’s weird!”
At first, I didn’t get that it was her, but then I finally got, “Oh my god!,” because we were the last ones in the change room (of course), and we’re the last ones in the change room and then she and I started talking. I said, “Listen, I feel like you know, usually what I do is, I’m in Programs or I’ve got One-on-Ones, and I feel the Collective just yakking at me that, you know, ‘there’s something of service here’… and, I have this overwhelming feeling with you, which means that you’re probably someone that affects a lot, or can affect a lot of people. Do you feel your heart’s calling?” She goes, “Oh my god, everywhere I go people are attracted to me, I just know stuff, I don’t know how I know stuff!” And so, I started giggling, because I thought, “Alright”… so… and that was my day for doing acts of kindness; you know, random acts of kindness. I thought, alright, this isn’t even a random act of, well it seems like it is, but it’s not. So then I said to her, “Do you feel like you hold yourself back in your yoga classes?,” and she said, “Yeah,” and I said, “Do you feel like you want to tell stories about your life and, like, you want to kind of tell the truth about who you are?” She goes, “Totally!” I said, “Well, I can tell you that the Collective, like your Infinite Wisdom, is screaming, you know, the whole Collective of Infinite Wisdom is just screaming right now because when I was in the class I could feel that you were holding yourself back.” And she said, “Well, I’m afraid of what people will think if I share too much of myself; I’m afraid of what they’re going to say, and I do the same thing in my family.” And I said, “Yeah, but don’t you feel like your classes should be even bigger than they are? Don’t you feel like you’ve got something to say that’s more… and to share that’s more?” She goes, “Totally!” And I said, “Well, that’s true, and the more you show of yourself, the more those people… the more powerful your magnetics, the more everything will start coming to you; the more you share your stories, the more you let your heart be seen and be vulnerable, the more those people will come to you. Now, granted, some people might drop away, right? Because, right now, you’re attracting people who are… you’re magnetic to people who are feeling your squelched-self, your less-than-you self. But, everybody wins when you be all of you, and you get to affect them to the core of your being… and you get to have all of the ways that you’ve learned, from all of the teachers that you have had, emanate out of you and it will affect every one of your students. It’s like, such a win, win,win,win,win… and it won’t be morphed by your mind worrying.”
So, even if people can’t put their finger on what they feel, they can feel it. I said, “Wouldn’t it be so much more freeing for you just to be you?” She’s like, “Oh yeah!” And we proceed to go out into the main lobby and she… outside of the class, she’s just letting it rip, she’s just having this great old time with the students; she’s being totally herself and I just smiled, because I get that she’s that way most of the time, except for in that classroom! So… it was amazing; it was just amazing. So… the message is: JUST BE YOURSELF! Seriously. Because, see, everyone’s going to judge you whether you be yourself or don’t be yourself; they really do. People are judgment machines; it’s how we protect… we perceive we protect ourselves…. Of course, it’s no protection at all. But, if you can actually understand that if you just be yourself, and let your heart be seen, at least one of you is going to be happy.
Alright… that is the message for now, and I love you just the way you are! I would love for you to come and play. We just developed a private Facebook page where we’re going to be doing some special stuff for everyone that loves playing with us. I’ll be asking questions and making you think, and having conversations, and that is at: Facebook.com/TWAPlayground. Okay, The Wide Awakening, but it’s actually “TWA” Playground. Okay? So, we’ll see you there; come and request to be in the group and let us play!
See you soon! [blows kiss] Bye!
