Promises. Promises. Promises.
“Integrity in the rigid format of the ego means that you do what you say. Integrity in the spirit of awakening means that your words match your heart and then you do what presents.” J. Hough (Tweetable)
I’ve had a few conversations with clients lately about having integrity and wishing that people did what they promised. The problem comes when what they promised is more in tune with wishing they could do it, rather than what would truly serve them and the whole of humanity.
Here’s what I know for sure:
1. If we make promises out of obligation, responsibility, or trying to gain acknowledgment, instead of doing it pure-heartedly, it will be hard to keep your word. Change your words to match your heart.
2. If you realize that something you are doing is out of your heart’s integrity, then be brave enough to have the conversation to bring it back to congruence.
3. Congruence is a more productive “word.” There is less chance you will judge another or yourself using this word.
4. “I don’t wanna”, is not a statement of congruence. “Let’s see how we can make this work”, is a statement of congruence.
5. Most people only get annoyed because their ego wants the safety to have life be predictable…..Life is expansive. Allow for grace for others when they have a change of heart, but call them to congruence with grace, where it’s appropriate.
Finally, if you know inside that someone promised something out of obligation, and you still expect them to follow through, you are out of congruence. Your job is to tell them that you only want them to participate if it is a total YES and you suspect it may not be. If they don’t show up, you are not allowed to be angry (that applies to yourself too).
Remember, we are all in this together! Be compassionate with yourself and others!
I love excuses for more compassion……..don’t you?